Chronic couple conflictuality according to control-mastery theory

This article aims to highlight how chronic couple conflictuality can be read from the control-mastery theory perspective. Some empirically grounded couple conflictuality models are reviewed and discussed, particularly regarding researchers’ tendency to focus on specific ways of dealing with conflicts, and the presence of a specific relational pattern, the demand/withdraw style, which seems to be particularly present among high-conflict couples. The article further presents an overview of the psychodynamic and systemic literature on couple conflictuality, in which three basic ways of reading conflict emerge: as an outcome of projective identification mechanisms; as a consequence of deficits in mentalization and affective regulation; and as a breakdown of dysfunctional communication strategies. The main control-mastery theory concepts also are presented, with a particular focus on its application to couple conflicts. According to this perspective, chronic couple conflictuality results from the repetition of vicious relational circles—that is, mutually failed tests by partners that give rise to negative escalations and couple dissatisfaction. A sample of clinical material from couple therapy is presented to exemplify this idea.